The truth about Endings

For some reason I have always been okay with the concept of endings, in all forms. I mean there isn't much we are guaranteed of in life, mainly that we will pay tax's and that we will eventually die and thinking about it like that makes it seem really pathetic to me, when someone is afraid of dying.

Why be afraid of the one thing you are sure of, and I know it is not the actual death that scares the majority of us, but the thought of being forgotten in life, or leaving unnecessary burdens on your loved ones.

I guess reading has a lot to do with my acceptance of endings, because there is always characters who you must say good bye to and unfortunately even whole worlds you must eventually leave behind. But accepting the fact that all things will end, isn't at all depressing, it teached you to enjoy the little things, like the sweet taste of milkshake, or your friends snorting laugh.

When you know that eventually you are going to have to watch the movie of your life, than you want a life worth a movie. You want to expierence things you will remember even when all concious thought has left your mind. You want to smell the air of different worlds, and see through the eyes of the man next to you and you want to be happy.

Suddenly your focus shifts from petty thoughts and judgmental remarks to acceptance, why waste your time and energy on things that don't bring you any joy, that you don't want to experience again, when you could instead be gathering the material for a beautiful scene where for a moment you take a leap of faith and land unhurt into the sweet embrace of a cool spring.

And why waste your time when you could be learning about something that boggles your mind and drives you to the brink of insanity and obsession.

Why hold back in love, or not kiss him cause it will break your heart, your heart will heal , think of all the heartaches you have experienced in life, and have you ever died because of them. Unlikely, unless there is an afterlife that has access to the human internet. But what do the thoughts of others matter, when what you want is him?

Now i am not saying just sleep with any man that arouses you, but is that really so bad? Is it really going to make you a horrible person, because you love freely and trust wholeheartedly? And have hope that he truly loves you? What if one day you pass on, your story ends and you suddenly discover that he really was everything you wanted and needed and you look back, when your whole life is just a blink of an eye in the existence of the universe and you did nothing, nothing worth remembering? You followed the rules made by a society more corrupt and brutal and animalistic than nature and as such failed to live your life and make an impact.

So yes there will always be endings, endings of relationships, friendships and endings of life, but they are all we have, so we might as well make sure we make the best of our time before the last page is turned. You are the only person looking out for you, so make sure you take care of yourself.

A little twisted.

Maybe I am a little twisted, I don’t really know, but I have this strange desire to make people feel addicted to me. I want someone to want to crawl through the flames of hell for me, or someone who will fly across the world just so that they can watch me smile. I want a romance worthy of Shakespeare, nothing less.

But isn’t that just so alluring, the power to drive someone absolutely insane. Someone who hangs onto every syllable you utter and every look your eyes make. Someone who can describe your voice to the point of rendering a crowd speechless, who makes even your darkest moments seem like a gift worthy of praise.

Maybe this is just a reflection of my insecurities. I am not sure. But there is just something intoxicating about the thought of being someone’s obsession.

I realise that there is also a darker side to obsessions, you know the whole stalking buzz, but I don’t know, I can see how that is irritating and annoying and unnerving, but still so alluring.

So I sit and dream of making people serve me, not out of fear, but out of obsession and love and lust, I just want to feel like someone’s everything. And if that is sick and twisted to want someone to die for my smile then I will be sick and twisted.

But please take me like your drug and let my voice infuse your blood with my words and bring you to a point of euphoria, which you can never reach without me. Crave my touch and long for my kiss. But most of all dote on me as if I am nothing but a lamb that needs your constant care. And maybe, just maybe I will give you what you so desire.

The Fashion starter kit

Hey Marshmallows,

So as you might guess, I kind of am lacking in the clothes department...
Firstly I am a big girl so I don't really enjoy shopping for clothes, and secondly being over weight makes it a lot harder to find pieces that look great on you. But that doesn't mean we can't, now before I would never consider going shopping in stores that cater for big women. I was above that, and anyway I was going to be thin anyway soon so why waste my money. But the thing is that yes, I might lose weight soon,

but why do I only deserve good quality, nice clothing when I have reached the elusive skinny physique that is so coveted by our society today.

However, I think that little rant is reserved for another day, time and place.

So back to the topic of this post: The fashion items you need in your life to build a good basic collection for you to build on... or, as I love to call it! "The Fashion starter kit"

So as kind of explained in one sentence above, these are the items you should get for your closet/wardrobe as good basics, because if you have good quality and nice fitting basics in your wardrobe you will be able to style many outfits without having to plan to much.

Another way that these items are great is that they provide the perfect items for you to pack when you go on trips, because you could pack these items and then add other items to supplement them, especially for trips where you don't know what you will be doing or where you will be going.

So, basically having these items will give you items that you can fall back onto, meaning that when you have days where you don't know what to wear, you can start with one (or more) of these and then build an outfit around it.

The 12 clothing items you need to get.

1. Basic shirts in white, black and grey. Now these you can get in any style of shirt and any material, however it is best to get something with a bit of stretch so that it retains it shape better. and of course you can get them in many styles, personally I like having long sleeved ones for colder months or days, Normal sleeved ones and tank top ones, that way you have all weather types covered.
2. White blouse. Get a blouse that fits your shape well and keep it in good condition, This is perfect for occasions where you need to be more dressed up, and amazingly it can also be dressed down and made more casual.
3. Chunky Cardigan in a classic colour. This is great for taking outfits that are to summer-y and making them look more appropriate for fall, it can also be used to make more formal outfits look more casual and is great to have on you for those unexpected cold moments, when places have the air-con on.
4. Leather Jacket in black. it is just a nice staple to get for moments when you want to toughen up an outfit, or make something casual but appropriate for a night out.
5. Blazer in black,  now this does the exact opposite of the leather jacket, as this smartens the outfit up. However, like with the blouse, make sure it fits you nicely.
6. Denim Jacket like the leather jacket is helps casual things out, but is more appropriate for day wear and instead of toughening the outfit up, it almost creates a soft, girly feel to the outfit.
7. Dark wash skinny jeans. Now this is probably the most specific item on this list and for good reason. Firstly, they need to be dark wash, because well it is the most flattering wash for all body types and makes them more versatile. Secondly they should be a skinny jean cut for the reason that it looks good when worn with most shoe types, but specifically they can be worn inside of boots with little to no problems.
8. Dress pants or a pencil skirt in black, now I have both listed in the same category because they fulfill the same purpose and it is mostly really a subject of preference. Both of them can be dressed up casually if wanted, however their real purpose is to be available for occasion where it is required to look professional, for a job interview perhaps, when paired with the blouse and or the blazer, depending how formal you want to look. 
9. A black skirt, the style of the skirt is of no importance other then it needs to suit your body type and style, and thus the above mentioned pencil skirt could be included in this category too, this is a great starter skirt, because like most items on the list it can be styled to look both formal and casual, and the colour is very versatile, you can pair it with a white shirt and a leather jacket for a night out, with the blouse for a more semi-casual look.
10. Black leggings, now these can't be left out of a basic fashion collection and believe me I almost did, black leggings are perfect to add some warmth to an outfit, or to wear on days where you want to be comfortable without the sloppiness of track pants, just pair them with a nice shirt or jumper and you are out the door for a grabbing a quick meal, or pair them with some heels, your blouse with a cardigan on top, clinched at the waste with a belt, and you have the perfect movie night outfit.
11. The little Black dress, this like the skirt should be of a flattering cut and of a good quality material, preferably it should not have sleeves but it is all down to preference. To get the most versatility out of your LBD it should be knee length meaning in the range of four fingers above the knee to four fingers below the knee and should not cover the arms, that way it can be styled both classy, formal, casual, and dress-y.
12. The little White dress, now as the little black dress is perfect for all night time occasions, the little white dress is perfect for all daytime occasions (of course they can be interchanged, it is all about how you accessorise them) Again for the most versatility, the LWD should be knee length and should not cover your arms and be in a style that is suitable for you.

The 6 (or 7) shoes you need in your closet right now

1. Classic coloured sneakers (aka converse type shoes) these are perfect for making outfits more casual, and still looking cute and stylish with out sacrificing comfort, they are also good for times when you are going to be doing things like taking a relaxing walk or going to a park, because they are comfortable and easy to clean.
2. Nude pump heels, now with heels the height and style really depends on you, but it is important that it looks simple, because the purpose is to sneakily give you height and not be the statement of the outfit and being the most versatile shoe in your collection. It is used to smarten all outfits up (so basically the opposite of the sneakers) and will become one of your go to pairs of heels when you don't know what shoe to pair with your outfit. Now if you want to have more variety but still have the same versatility, then get a black pump heel as well.
3. A nude and a black ballerina flat pump for the same reason as above this too colours provide great versatility, however they also have the added bonus of depending how you pair them they can be both casual, with jean and a t-shirt or formal, with your LBD.
4. Sandals, you should also get a nude and black sandal, and it can be flat or wedge, depending on what you prefer, to complement all summer outfits and also as a transition from the colour months into spring.
5. Riding boot, or any flat knee length boot, these are great in winter and become a staple in the colder months for a cute daytime look that can be carried into the night. Now these should be a nice classic colour to get the most wear out of them and make sure when buying that you can fit your jeans on the inside. These are also great to transitioning into the colder months. In fall take your summer outfit, throw on a cardigan and your riding boots and you already have a whole collection of fall looks.
6. Chunky heel lace up booties, these again should be in a classic colour and are a great shoe to have, they can be worn in all seasons and dressed both up or down. The chunky heel is important for comforts sake and thus makes it perfect for wearing in the day with out looking like you are going to topple over.

The 5 Accessories to start you off

1. Tote bags in a dark and a light classic colour. These babies are going to become your everyday bags and probably your go to bag with most outfits, they are big enough so that no matter where you are going (unless of course a week long trip) it will fit everything inside, and timeless enough that they will always be stylish.
2. Chunky scarves in an assortment of colours, these are great for spicing up any outfit and are also great when you want to take something along that can keep you warm. (I am hearing a blanket scarf opportunity)
3. A black Clutch, will go nice with any formal dresses. When choosing a clutch it is important to make sure that it is big enough to fit in all your necessities without looking like it is going to explode.
4. Sunglasses, everybody needs a pair of sunglasses, if you make these a simple pair, you will be able to wear them with any outfit with no problem what so ever.

Hope this list helps all the fashion newbies, like me, and I think it is great since it took me about 2 weeks to gather all the information and confirm it on various websites and in various style books, so that I could provide us with a well supplemented fashion starter kit.

I am going to do posts on how to pair these basics into brilliant outfits, and also one on how to style your LBD and LWD, as well as a post on what you need to take in your clutch, so that you know exactly what clutch to buy.

Now it is important to know, that these are really just your basics and that if you feel like buying a hot pink wide legged jean, you can go ahead, this is basically your starter kit, meaning like most starter kits that you get, it is there to help you on the way to a brilliant fashion collection, cause once you have basics, it is always easier to change the detail.

Love you guys so much.

Mercy 

xoxo

P.S if you have any questions or I didn't explain myself properly, comment below and I will answer as best as I can, as soon as I can.

P.S.S Check out here for my board on the fashion basic items.

Student Cheats: Brownies

Hey Marshmallows,

So as promised because I couldn’t post on Sunday, here is a second post.

This is an easy recipe for students, I don’t know if they supply microwaves when staying in Res (aka on Campus or in a dorm) but I know that most of them and specifically the one on my campus does not have ovens, and sometimes you just need some cake or something of that nature.

So as utensils go, you will need:

• A Microwave
• A Mug
• A Fork
• Measuring Cups

And what food stuff do you need for this delicious cup of chocolate yumminess

• ¼ cup sugar
• ¼ cup flour
• 2 Tablespoons of coco powder
• Pinch of salt
• 2 tablespoons oil
• 3 tablespoons water

So you have gathered all the ingredients now what?

1. Mix all the dry ingredients in the mug
2. Add the oil and water
3. Stir it until it is all mixed into a consistent liquid gooeyness
4. Pop it into the microwave for 1:30 to 1:40 minuets
5. Enjoy.

For an optional added bonus, add a nice scoop of ice-cream to the mixture

Enjoy loves

Mercy

xoxo

New Years

Hey Marshmallows,

Happy New Years!!!!!

What the hell happened to 2013? I mean really is it just me or did it just fly past.

Well I know that this time of the year everybody makes some sort of “New Year’s Resolution” and I personally suck at keeping to them and actually carrying them out! (What a surprise)

So I decided that this year I am going to do some research on the interweb, and see if this year I can actually stick to them.

So this is what the interweb had to tell me, (disclaimer I read so many articles and blog posts and slide shows and watched so many videos that I really just don’t have the energy (i.e. I am lazy) to list all of them.)

Step 1

Think about last year! So reflect think about what you did “wrong” and how you want to improve yourself.

Step 2

Write those goals down! Writing them down makes it more official and helps you plan it out.

Step 3

Now this is what I have a problem with.

DON’T try to do it all in January.

Remember that there are 12 months that you can do them in so plan them out properly otherwise you will get demotivated and overwhelmed.

Step 4

Goes hand in hand with the two above! Plan them out properly, with baby steps. And be very specific with where you want to be

Step 5

Identify your time wasters. Aka watching TV, watching paint dry that kind of stuff

Step 6

Set deadlines.

Step 7

Remind yourself of your goals on a regular basis.

Step 8

Don’t give up, if you fail, just reassess what went wrong and start again

Step 9

Be patient, remember you are only human and that you will make mistakes, and that you won’t always get it right and you won’t be able to be the new you from the beginning, think of it as a 12 month journey, you have 365 days to become the new you, not just one month.

Step 10

Have fun, if you don’t enjoy doing it, then you won’t do it properly, so get your mind set right and have fun. 

The only time you are promised is this very second you’re in, you might die when you leave the house and as ominous as that sounds don’t let that hinder you from living, just make sure that when they think about you it is with joy and happiness and they remember you as an inspiration to do what you are passionate about and love life. So make every second a happy one where you have fun and learn something. So that your last second of life will be well spent and worth remembering.

Lots of love

Mercy

P.S None of these pictures are mine, but i couldn't take any of myself because i have been bitten on the face by something, i look blegh.

University: Saving and Snack tips

Hey Marshmallows,

So I am going back to university soon, after a one week long break, and well I just know I am going to be having trouble with my whole healthy eating plan, because I am a sucker for chocolate and sweets especially when you want a quick snack on your way to your next class, so if you have browsed over my wish list post, you will know that I want to buy myself healthy snack bars with the purpose of diminishing the chances of me wasting my hard earned cash on rubbish food. But I need other ideas besides that, because I spend a lot of time at Varsity and some days I am there until 7 at night.

So I am going to be collecting lots of healthy snack ideas and tips here and posting them for you guys to share. If you have any tips, comment below, and be sure to check back here from time to time, it might have expanded.

Tips and tricks

• Always pack a lunch; 
• having a packed lunch (that you like) will lower the chances of you heading off to the Shops to buy some junk. But it is very important that it is something you like, otherwise you just ignore it and don’t want to eat it.
• Bring a bottle of Juice or water; 
• this way you will stay hydrated and won’t spend your money on sodas, which isn't good for you at all and mostly dehydrates you more.
• Bring fruit pieces; 
• if you cut up an apple or pear and put it in a container, you have a nice accessible snack for in between classes and maybe during classes.
• Try not to drink coffee or tea whilst at Varsity; 
• I swear this is how they make the most money, I could spend all my money on coffee if I didn't have some sort of control, it is very bad, especially because I am there so early, I want to buy coffee.

Sorry that  there are no pictures with this post.

Love you guys 

Mercy

<3<3<3

Hair lust

Hey Marshmallows,

I know how that feels

I know i mentioned in passing about my longing for long hair in my step 2:clothes post, but i think i can explain it a little more, in its own post.

Zoella (check her out) The girl who rekindled my love for long hair

So i used to have long hair, like down to my waist long... and at the time i didn't know how lucky i was.
So one day it struck my fancy and i cut off all my gorgeous hair and was sporting a very boy cut, think Emma Watson's hair.

And since then i have been trying to grow it out, now what happens is my hair, because it is curly, is very difficult at certain lengths and it grows very differently.
To explain: first my hair gets thicker and then suddenly it drops, now all hair grows similar to this, but my hair just looks horrible when it is expanding, so since my moms hairdresser comes to us, if she happens to come whilst i am feeling irritated with my hair i let her cut it off and the whole processes starts again.

Why i do this to myself i have no idea... but i think i have very bad staying problems (something i am going to address later. So now i still want long hair and i want it bad and i think it will be quite an achievement if i manage to get past this annoying stage and into something a bit longer and more playful.

How I usually cut my hair to keep it managable
if only i looked like her whilst wearing it

Loves you guys as much as i love long hair
Mercy
xoxo

P.S. Photo-a-day is up and running, so go check it out